


Worth

by animeflower317



Category: The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Book 3: The Burning Maze (Trials of Apollo), Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, Gen, Platonic Cuddling, Post-The Burning Maze (Trials of Apollo), Self-Harm, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-27 19:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20765702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animeflower317/pseuds/animeflower317
Summary: After the death of Jason Grace, Apollo isn't okay.  But maybe he can be. Especialy if one Meg Mcaffery thinks so highly of him. (Angst turns into fluff.)





	Worth

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS (*duh*). Hi. This is my 1st work. Book 4 came out today (I think). So why not? Enjoy. :-)

Why did Jason die? Why him? I...it should have been me. It's...worse this time. Worse than Hyacinth. People were depending on me. How could anyone ever forgive me? For the first time in my life, I feel like I don't deserve to be here. Really. Is my life worth more than his somehow? Selfish Apollo chimes in with 'of course a god's life is worth more than any mortal's'. I don't think I can believe that anymore. I feel so small. So powerless. If I was still Apollo...But I'm not. I am not Apollo. Not anymore. I don't feel in control. 

So maybe that's why the knife feels so good ripping into my skin. I'm getting what I deserve. For once, I'm the one getting hurt. The blood dribbles down my arm into the gas station sink, staining the off-white with crimson. I look into the grimy mirror and see myself for what I am. Dirt. A monster. Maybe Medea was right. No. She was right. If I had just faded, nobody would miss me. My own father cast me away from him. Another cut follows that one. Piper was so devestated. She still is. Is this what dad wanted? For me to off myself to save him the trouble? Maybe I just might this time. How easy it would be to finish what I started on that yacht. I am fascinated by the color of human blood. Red. Not ichor. Not golden. Red. It really is so much prettier. 

How much have I lost!? The sink basin is almost full! My head hurts now. A dull throbbing. I can't die here. I'm not worth enough to die. I'm not good enough to join the people I loved! And then the door bursts open behind me. Golden scimitars glint in the mirror. I don't want to turn around and face her. Not now. Arms wrap around my waist and pull me backwards. Piper's hair tickles my cheek. Of course it's Piper. She pulls me out to the old beat up sedan we commandeered. Tears run down my face as I look anywhere but her eyes as she takes out a first aid kit. I'm still not sure how we ended up in Oklahoma anyway. I bet she hates me for ruining her quiet life. I just can't do anything, can I. I hold out my arms to her as she wraps the pristine white bandages around my forearms.

Nothing is said as she buckles me into the vehicle, and Meg gets in beside me. The drive to the campsite is quiet too. They must be so angry. The sun is setting as Piper pulls into the parking lot. "Apollo." I flinch. Tears start to hit the leather seat. I don't have anything to say. We get out of the ugly cobalt blue monster and sit in the grass. And then she and Meg are by my side. My eyes widen as calm, cool, and collected Meg slaps me. I put my hand up to my stinging cheek. She really is mad. But then she sniffles and tears gather in her eyes. She throws her arms around my neck and sobs. We both kind of just cry with eachother like that for a little while, untill Meg pulls away. She looks me dead in the eye. "Apollo. Please don't ever do that again! You have no idea! You...you're my family." I am rendered completely speechless. Piper hugs me and gives me an 'I never blamed you' look. We get back into our rickety transport. Meg curls up around me as the sun sets outside. I curl up too. Sleep starts to claim me as Piper drives. My last thought before I drift off is ' Hunh. Maybe I am worth something after all'.


End file.
